We have been talking about the scared one and how stressful it is to be constantly vigilant. Being always on guard against looking bad or doing/saying something wrong isn’t just a psychological state. It’s also physiological. Science has long shown us the connection between psyche and soma, mind and body. The body is a slave to the brain and what we do between our ears drives activity at a distance in the body. For example, your adrenal glands produce stress hormones, different ones depending upon the acute or chronic nature of your stress.
Chronic stress causes them to produce corticosterioid hormones. These steroid hormones are like predisone which is used to surpress that itchy inflammatory response when you get a bad case of poison ivy. In other words, they surpress your immune response. This means that you are more likely to get sick when you feel you have to always be on your toes.
You know the slogan, “you deserve a break today?” Running around all day long living our McNormal lives, dressed for success while putting our best foot forward, don’t we deserve a break today?! I think we do. I just don’t think it’s a Big Mac.
Maybe the break is to notice the scared one running your life. Then punch out on the trying-to-impress-others clock and do something else with your time and attention. After all, concern for how others are thinking of you may be misplaced. In fact, they probably aren’t thinking of you. Their scared one is probably doing with you what you had been doing with them. :O)