I always enjoy reading the Science Times section of the NY Times on Tuesdays.  In today’s WELL article, by Tara Parker-Pope, on the HEALTH page one finds this headline:  Go Easy on Yourself, a New Wave of Research Urges.

So I recognize this as another synchronous event and pay attention.  The article makes the point that I have been making here.  That being, part of normal not being healthy is how hard we are on ourselves. We get acculturated to believe that hard work is the secret to success at the same time we learn something else. If you care about doing a good job, shouldn’t you be hard on yourself?  Of course!

And you hear it all the time.  ”Yep, I’m my own worst enemy.”

Remember, our best kept secret is that each of us has feelings of inadequacy that we don’t want other folks to know about.  That part of us I call the scared one.  He/she learns to be focused on meeting the needs of others while being neglectful of his/her own needs.  After all, to be that concerned with getting your own needs met is to be what?  SELFISH!  And how can you be selfish and still be seen as a good person.

So we busy ourselves trying to be good people, ones that are accepting, caring and compassionate of others.  At the same time we withhold those same warm emotions from ourselves.  Have compassion for others not for self.  In fact, there is a self-compassion test you can take and those that score low are busy “berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.”

Get this, it turns out “that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health.”  For readers of this blog, both of you, familiar?

self-compassion.org ….take it, I did.